Tag: advice

Finding Your Passion

Ashika George1 Comment

It took me years before I finally realised what I love doing and what I’m good at. As a child, I firmly knew that I loved arts and crafts. I used to spend a lot of time trying to be creative and while my Mum encouraged it, school ultimately won over my time.

Once I was into primary school this flame inside me, of drawing/painting/being creative, was decreasing into nonexistence. My parents were more concerned about looking at top scores and grades on a piece of paper rather than my passion and interests, which truly made me happy instead of maths or science.

Secondary school was the worst. I was thrust into a hectic schedule of studying and GCSE’s invaded majority of my time. While choosing my GCSE options, I was determined to choose photography and music. However, my parents convinced me to not take photography because it wasn’t worth a GCSE to take pictures. Music was ruled out because it wasn’t “academic” enough. To say I was incredibly frustrated is an understatement. I ended up doing subjects I didn’t even enjoy. Sometimes I wonder what life would have been like if I had followed my heart instead of my parents. It didn’t help that my grandfather told me that medicine was the best path for me, despite the fact that I absolutely detest science.

Then came college. This current part of my life so far has been a significant improvement. My parents are now more accepting towards my career aspirations after they saw the hell I experienced during GCSE. I took subjects that I was genuinely interested in for once, although I still regret not taking photography once again.

Perhaps the problem underlies in the fact that my culture is rather restrictive when it comes to an individual’s passion. I’m sure you’re aware of the typical Indian stereotype of every student being forced to take either medicine or engineering. Believe me, I’ve been to India several times and pretty much everyone I’ve met is either studying to become a doctor/nurse, engineer or accountant. I can’t help but feel sorry for them. Good for them if they truly love these career paths but surely, there are many Indian youths who would rather study something else. My oldest cousin was originally studying accounting or something related to economics/business. But he simply didn’t want to go down that route and our family realised that it wasn’t working for him. Now he’s studying hotel management and is seemingly a lot happier. Unfortunately, India has still yet to move forward in this area. Anything that does not fit the traditional standards is usually seen as a hobby rather than a potential career choice, such as art. Being raised in Britain is certainly a blessing as it has opened doors for me that would not have happened had I remained in India.

My struggle in finding my passion wasn’t just about my future career, but also in discovering what I’m good at. Some of the biggest things in my life which I am upset about is not being able to develop my art skills. Since I was continuously forced to study, I never had much time to practice drawing or painting. Thus, my artistic skills are still very basic compared to my friends who are now almost at a professional level. Now that I have slightly more freedom, I’ve been returning to my beloved world of creativity and will keep working to hone my skills.

My advice to you is to go ahead and follow your dreams. Don’t let anyone judge your aspirations and keep practising so you’ll become good at what you love doing. If you’re still young then I cannot stress enough how you should do so, because later in life you will look back at that former glory and regret not following your heart just like I have. Explore different things, find what you’re good at and what you love and it can be anything. Then stick to it because it will be the key thing that will define YOU.

Being Comfortable With Myself – Appearances + “Body Positivity”

Ashika GeorgeLeave a comment

Honestly, adolescence is an enormous wake-up call to reality.

I’ll use my experience as an example.

Growth and transition to adulthood are not just the change in physical appearance, our minds shift drastically. Those eyes that only cared about looking at butterflies in the garden became fixated on the cellulite hanging off my torso. Then came acne and a series of episodes where I became self-conscious about my appearance. Of course, I can’t leave out my mole, which is on a terrible part of my face. I used to be called “pencil-legs” by family and friends and even used to be the tallest in my entire primary school. Then I built up fat in the most unsightly places, due to my careless eating, and didn’t grow any further than 5″3.

You get the point, I hated the fact that my body changed for the worse. I have myself to blame and the raging hormones. So what happened next?

I started using social media when I was 13 so you can guess the nightmare that followed. Beautifully shaped girls with perfectly symmetrical facial structures, no blemishes, nice flowing hair, gorgeous lashes and tall, slender frames constructed most of my friends and my Instagram feed. My self-esteem plummeted so hard that I even developed jealousy over guys and their perfect muscled figures with sharp jawlines. Even when I put on makeup, I still didn’t look as good as my friends, who became the equivalent of supermodels once they started dolling up in secondary school. My pudginess was used as a token for others to say “you’re beautiful just the way you are” or “you don’t need to change that, just be you”. But something didn’t feel quite right in that aspect.

Needless to say, I hated my face. I hated how I couldn’t be as perfect as them. I hated how no matter hard I tried, I still looked horrible. I hated the fact no boy would ever come up to me and want to be my boyfriend (cringy but you know).

But that’s no longer the case (for the most part).

Now, I’ve decided that I couldn’t really care less about my face. I’ve improved my makeup techniques so that’s a plus. But most of all, I learnt to really love my looks. This is the way I was created by God and He makes no mistakes. I look at myself in the mirror sometimes and smile, and I have to admit that it’s really cute! 🙂 Seriously, go to your mirror and smile, it really helps.

As for my overweight body? I knew that it would be unhealthy and damaging to my body if I continued that lifestyle of binging junk food, so I now hit the gym and am improving my diet. There is a stark difference between accepting how your face looks and how the rest of your body looks. I realised this quite recently. Having a certain-shaped nose or thin eyebrows isn’t harmful to you in slightest. But being overweight or obese? That is definitely going to cause problems with your health if you don’t act to change it. I didn’t want to destroy my life so I chose the wise choice of working hard to improve my health. Although, my progress is a little slow because I am inevitably lazy sometimes.

I want all of you, girls and boys, to love yourselves. Don’t worry about how your face looks, those who won’t accept the fact that that’s who you are, don’t deserve you. But remember, if you truly and deeply care for your body, you will work hard to make sure it stays healthy. Don’t succumb to the false messages that people provide in this day and age about body positivity. It’s good to accept your appearance as it is, but it is also important that you take care of it as well.